Difference Between Love And Infatuation

 Love is the greatest feeling for any living being under the sun. Even in the jungle, animals have a very wonderful way of exhibiting love.  For Humans, love is a means to continuity and sustenance of the human race. Love is an aid to marriage and serves as a means to enable the family exist ad infinitum.

However, in search of love, many have been misled. As a result, I have made inroads into finding the difference between love and infatuation. My search has the following:

Difference between love and infatuation by:

Naghina:

Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?
There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows; one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.

Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.
It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

INFATUATION
Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint?
This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. Often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember; never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person. Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.

LOVE

Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.

When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.

Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.
It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others...
It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.
You can do the following:

1. Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.

2. Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.

3. Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.

4. Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.

5. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget
about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.
6. Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.

7. Love is not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.

8. Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.

9. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others.
Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

10. Love always perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

11. Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.

12. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

13. Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.

14. Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been
wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.

** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins.

 

GUIDANCE AND COUNSELLING IN SCHOOLS

THE CHALLENGES IN THE IMPLEMENTATION OF GUIDANCE AND COUNSELLING PROGRAMMES IN SENIOR HIGH SCHOOLS

There are a number of challenges in the implementation of Guidance and Counselling programmes in Senior High Schools. The details are discussed below:

The major challenge in the implementation of Guidance and Counselling programmes in Senior High Schools is the inability of school authorities to allocate funds for Guidance and Counselling units to facilitate the work of coordinators. As a result, counsellors are not motivated enough to carry out their assigned duties effectively. Sometimes, coordinators are compelled under the given circumstances to use their own money for the purchase of logistics such as books, files, pens etc. There are also Instances where coordinators need money to go for more information that will help in finding solutions to certain problems. Their efforts are usually foiled up if the school cannot afford to fund such trips. 

Another challenge confronting the implementation of guidance and Counselling in Senior High Schools is lack of office accommodation for the coordinators to carry out their work. It is crystal clear that counselling is a one to one helping affair and should be held in an enclosed office. It must be noted that private and confidential matters are often compromised to the public when counselling is done in obscure places. In such places, coordinators find it difficult to elicit the much needed information from students since invitees will not be comfortable giving it out.

There is usually lack of collaboration by staff members to support the efforts of counsellors and coordinators. Some staff members in school for one reason or the other deliberately refuse to attend Guidance and Counselling sessions. Others are time constrained and do not usually turn up for Counselling sessions. This makes it very difficult for the coordinators because sometimes the technical competence of such tutors may be needed to solve or clarify certain issues. For instance, in our African context it becomes very difficult for male teachers to investigate certain issues concerning girls.

An issue arose at Viting Secondary Technical School in Tamale. A student girl accused her colleague of witchcraft. This happened when one early morning; the victim woke up and was not wearing her beads. She was troubled by the fact that the accused her own friend who lay very close to her disappeared in the morning and this made her to believe that the friend was responsible for taking the beads off her waist. The victim believed superstitiously that the accused meant doom for her. When the accused was invited down and interrogated, she denied knowledge and whereabouts of the beads. The Assistant headmaster, the senior housemaster and the guidance and Counselling coordinator were confused on how to handle this seemingly confusing problem.  Upon invitation, it took the housemistress and headmistress a few minutes to solve the problem. The two ladies took the girls inside the dormitory. They asked the victim when she took her bath and where she left her sponge. When she brought out her sponge dish, lo and behold! The beads were inside it. Unknown to the victim, the foam from the soap gave the beads a smooth transition into the sponge when she was bathing the previous night. She kept all these items inside the sponge dish unknowingly. She stood embarrassed and astonished and was asked to apologise to the accused and the two were reconciled.

Generally, there is also lack of cooperation on the part of some parents to honour invitations by counsellors and coordinators. These parents do not honour invitations due to ignorance about the implication of guidance and counselling in the education of their children. Others get so busy with their work schedules and are unable to show up. The absence of parents to volunteer vital information to coordinators leaves a lot of problems at crossroads. At the end, students are left to make wrong choices that will undoubtedly have a telling effect on their lives. In a situation where the coordinator takes up the challenge to solve the problem alone, he or she may end up a monomania with a useless mission. Information is the life blood of any meaningful decision process as such; parents are in the best position to show the strengths and weaknesses of their children.

Counsellors are subject tutors as well. Hence, the time table may not allow them to offer effective counselling services to students. Guidance and Counselling programmes are thus relegated to the background as Coordinators and counsellors have to attend to teaching and other responsibilities.

Lack of professional training on the part of Coordinators and counsellors may have negative impact on students at the receiving end of such services since coordinators do not know the essential elements and core conditions of counselling, they cannot counsel effectively. Students who are left to the mercy of these coordinators will take actions to the detriment of society. In fact, such students cannot make good decisions. They may take actions that are not needed at a particular point in time.

Low patronage and outright rebuff of counselling services by students is one of the major obstacles that impede guidance and counselling efforts in Senior High Schools. The reasons assigned for these are legion. In a number of cases, students believe that counsellors and coordinators are not themselves morally upright. Coordinators with questionably characters may preach virtue and practice vice. Eventually, they will not even serve as role models for students. Students believe firmly that such coordinators easily leak secrets of their colleagues who happen to consult them. Some students do not honour the invitation of counsellors on religious grounds. For example, a Christian student may not go to a Moslem for counselling and in like manner, a Moslem student may not also avail himself before a Christian for counselling services. 

Counsellors and coordinators encounter difficulties in dealing with exceptional students - students who are visually impaired, hearing impaired, mentally retarded and sometimes the exceptionally good ones. These categories of students are difficult to handle. Students with such exceptional problems may not be understood by counsellors and the vice versa. A majority of counsellors may even lack the expertise in special education and the requisite resources to handle them. The fate of these students will be left in sheer despair when the need to counsel arises.

SUGGESTED POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO OVERCOME THE IDENTIFIED CHALLENGES

To overcome these challenges discussed, the following solutions are suggested:

1. School authorities must place emphasis on guidance and Counselling by allocating funds to help address the requirements of that unit and thereby facilitate the work of counsellors and coordinators.

2. Schools should also be in a position to offer proper office accommodation to help coordinators work with ease. It is often quoted that for want of a nail the battle was lost. This can be related here to mean that for want of an office the coordinators objective was defeated.

3. Guidance and Counselling is a team effort, therefore staff members should be encouraged to partake and assist in that direction. The remedies to certain problems rest solely with some subject tutors. Schools should motivate their teachers to contribute in that direction.

4. During Parent Teacher Association (PTA) meetings, parents should be educated to appreciate the work of counsellors and coordinators and to cooperate with them when they are invited.

5. Guidance and Counselling is a very important enterprise. As much as possible, Ministry of Education, all implementing agencies of educational policies and Heads of Senior High Schools should endeavour to assign counsellors and coordinators the sole responsibility of guidance and Counselling. They should be made to attend to guidance and Counselling issues only.

6. Coordinators should be sent for professional training to make them full counsellors. This will bring about efficiency in carrying out their assigned duties and responsibilities.

7. Heads of institutions must endeavour to select people who are morally upright to serve as guidance and Counselling coordinators. In deed, somebody students and tutors alike can confide in and hold in confidence. Proper education should be carried out to enable students avail themselves for counselling when the need arises.

8.  As part of their training, coordinators should be taught the rudiments of exceptionalities. As recommended earlier, coordinators who will take up the sole responsibility of Counselling should be sent for training to equip them with knowledge and skills on how to deal with exceptional children.

The clarion call on a daily basis to the effect that all and sundry must rise up to the task of fighting the moral decadence that has eaten deep to the very fabric of society and the call to every one to help find a panacea to the poor standards of education, can begin well and meaningfully with guidance and Counselling services in the forefront of academic affairs in our schools. If these major challenges pointed out are properly addressed, our societies will take a firm foot and will be transformed into a better one for all of us.

GIFTED, CREATIVE AND TALENTED CHILDREN

A strong tradition has it that Education is geared towards the development of the whole child. Because of this, much emphasis was not focused on the development of the intellectual abilities of students, particularly those who are Gifted, Creative and Talented. This view became evident in the 1950s when Russia superseded the United States in space exploration with the launching of the sputnik. That was when one man with his brand new invention, took a giant leave for mankind.

Russia placed emphasis on the Gifted, Talented and Creative students and went ahead of the rest of the world in the space race. The United States was intrigued to revive this in their educational curriculum and this has brought in its wake a lot of scientific innovations that has kept the USA in the vanguard of world affairs.

Definition of Giftedness

Giftedness is defined as children of sublime genius whose activities are characterized by an extraordinary display of knowledge, skills and abilities compared with children within their chronological age, experience and environmental setting.

Gifted, Creative and Talented students differ from average students on a number of dimensions that are very useful for classroom instruction. Teachers must be abreast with these differences to enable them not only identify talented creative and gifted children but also, make their instruction more beneficial to the needs of this special population.

Characteristics of Giftedness   

Gifted children have the following characteristics:

- Gifted children are independent and internally controlled

- Gifted children are persistent non-conforming and perceptually strong

- Gifted children are self-motivated

- Gifted children have the ability to bring creativity to bear on a particular problem

- Gifted children are capable of developing an interaction between above-average ability, creativity and task commitment

- They are very competent with abstract concepts and needs to be guided with concrete study and test development.

- They are often ahead of their peers within the same group and environment.

Factors Contributing to Giftedness

Environmental factors have been proved to be a contributory factor to giftedness. For instance, a survey conducted into some North African countries and India proved that very intelligent children emerge from these regions. It was further established that moringa is consumed as a major diet in those regions almost on a daily basis. It was later established that the consumption of this plant proved its efficacy as a mind enhancement complex.

Behavioural genetics also prove that there is a genetic transmission of intelligence from parent to offspring. 

Identification of Gifted Children

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test in which the marks obtained by a student is divided by his chronological age and multiplied by 100 is used to determine gifted children. Students who score very high grades as compared with colleagues of the same age and class are figured out as being gifted.

Achievement Tests are also conducted to select students who perform extremely well in certain specified subjects.

Some students with the support of teachers are tasked to produce projects, designs or objects. The ability to do it well shows the exceptionally creative and talented ones.

Gifted children perform tasks that are meant for older children. This mark of excellence helps in the identification of gifted students. Thus gifted children execute projects that are excellent and unusual of children of the same chronological age.

Judging from what they can do, gifted children are easily identified by their peers, teachers and parents.

Educational programmes for the Gifted, Creative and Talented Children

A traditional method of dealing with gifted children has been to accelerate them through classes, grades and stages. A group of gifted students can be brought together to cover the course in less time than is normal.

Another educational approach is the “pull-out” or ability grouping. In this system, students are taken out of the regular classroom at different times and given special attention by a teacher trained in meeting the needs of gifted students.

An alternative to the pull-out class is enrichment provided in special projects and activities in the classroom. (Madaus G. F., et al, 1989).  Instead of taking students away, the curriculum is enriched to meet the needs of all students.  

The Rights of Gifted Children

Tannerbaun A., in 1985 gave the following recommendations as the rights of gifted children.

1. Children have the right to be identified as gifted at the earliest possible age.
2. Children have a right to be identified as gifted long before they are able to achieve renown.  
3. Gifted children have a right to be regarded as precious human resources far out of proportion to their numbers.
4. Gifted children have a right to differentiated education that is uniquely appropriate to them.
5. Gifted children have the right to the kind of education that is forerunner of education for all children.
6. Gifted children have the right to be educated by teachers who are specially qualified to teach them.
7. Gifted children have the right to a formal education that originates in their total environment (that includes resources beyond the school’s staff, resources and schedules).
8. Gifted children have a right to be nurtured in a school program (that is in a long-term offering that is a major part of the school curriculum) rather than in fragmentary ad hoc school provisions.
9. Gifted children have a right to freedom and equality.